A Life of Distractions

{sunny skies in Los Angeles}

 Life gets hectic.  Projects fall to the wayside, self-care less prioritized, hobbies take a backseat, laundry piles up, house chaotically clutters — a reflection of our minds overly-stressed from numerous tasks and obligations.  Neglecting my blog for the last 2.5 months was an unfortunate bi-product of  accomodating my piling “to-do” list these past few months (in addition to less workouts and a messy apartment). 

Awareness is key, followed by figuring out how to shift/balance your priorities (a tough task, though it’s possible).  Hence, my waking up a half an hour earlier today to write a blogpost in order to reclaim my passion towards writing.

Which important activities (or people) do you pay less attention to during your most stressful, overwhelming moments?

{one of my fave places to think – the fountain at Beverly Canon Gardens}

Laziness

{Smathers Beach at Key West}

Staring at my “to-do” list makes me angry.  Only two out of twelve items have been checked off over the course of two weeks.  Even as I sit at my usual coffee shop, I’d rather listen to music and daydream of being a karaoke superstar (oddly, I had similar daydreams as a child) or taking a tropical beach vacation instead of doing work.  Perhaps I’m tired…or miss my friends and family…or am so overwhelmed by work that I’m procrastinating until the very last minute before I get in trouble (something I used to do in grade school)…or a combination of everything plus life, in general. 

Yesterday morning, I released some aggression at kickboxing class, and on my way out, I couldn’t help but smile.  At the nearby park, a group of adorable kids were seated around a campfire, laughing and telling jokes.  And at that moment, I realized – Sometimes life gets so stressful that we can’t help but revert to our childhood ways of coping, that is, until reality sets in.  I’m a physician (not a karaoke dynamo) and I can no longer rely on teachers punishing me for late work submissions.

If only life could be as simple as a campfire during summer break.

Sunset, Sunrise

{another sunset in Waikiki}

Written on May 10, 2011…

I just returned from an extremely quick and busy trip to Oahu, then LA, then the Philippines, then nor-cal, and now back to Oregon.  Overall, my trip was amazing, inspirational, sad, surreal, spiritual, traditional, and much more words I can’t even recall due overwhelming jet-lag.  Unforgettable.  I’ve watched the sun rise and set in many places, but never has the daily event inspired so much meaning…until the sun rose on the day of my grandmother’s funeral on May 7, 2011.  Each day is marked by a beginning and an end, but the memory of my grandmother’s laughter and love I will never forget.

Happy Birthday Lola…I miss you…

Birthday Wish

I’m feeling overwhelmed after a nonstop day at work.  To brighten my mood, I looked at photos of my recent birthday celebration and read my blogpost from last year (here).  In contrast to last year, I feel more comfortable being myself (well, I’m still in the process of discovery, which is life-long, but at least I’m less embarrassed to admit my weaknesses, demonstrate pride in my strengths, and bring out my valley-girl twang at work).  In addition, I wasn’t carded…not even once, even though I still look like the same, questionably-legal-to-drink young girl.  Perhaps I exude more confidence?  Well, I know for sure that I’ve matured, for when my patients call me “sweetie,” “young lady,” and “hun,” I no longer take offense nor do I view myself as inexperienced and incompetent as I felt last year.  Now that I’m no longering pondering ways to look older, I plan to focus more on improving my stress management skills (to reduce development of wrinkles).

{Birthday at Nobu West Hollywood}

I know my last post was awhile ago, but I’m back from travels and life-changing experiences, which I plan to share in future posts!

Spring Break Away

{Sausalito, CA.  The day was initially stormy, but the sun appeared just moments after}

I promised not to complain about weather, but it’s currently dark, cold, and intermittently rainy here.  A tiny bit of sunshine could easily brighten my mood and day.  In the meantime, I’ll takes a few moments to reminisce about recent trips to escape the dreariness until my next tropical vacation.

{South Beach ~ Miami Beach, FL}

{Oahu, HI}

{Home.  Northern CA}

Winter Treat

I’m ecstatic that it’s Spring, though the stormy weather in Oregon makes me feel like I’m still stuck in Winter.  I was proud of myself for getting through my second Winter in Oregon with minimal complaints (for those who know me, that’s major improvement), though my survival required several trips back home to California.  A few highlights from my travels this past holiday season include discovering on Christmas day that I had won the Alexander Wang Anita handbag from Beso’s “The Hold Everything Sweepstakes” (see my winning entry here) .   I recently went to San Francisco to help my sister pick out the perfect wedding dress and felt the bag was perfect for carrying my necessities while strolling through the gorgeous city.

Photos by Marlon Santos

Oregon Winter

 {View from my window}

I just returned from a weekend in Sacramento and San Francisco where the weather was perfectly chilly, sunny, and breezy.  Yet, prior to my flight to nor-cal, I experienced two snowy days in Oregon where I’m sure that I’m the only one who initially stared out the window in fear about having to commute in the snow.  I’ve grown accustomed to texting fellow residents for driving tips and religiously checking weather.com to ensure I can tackle the snowy roads without problem, but have decided that instead of being constantly worried, I’m going to savor and enjoy the rest of my second Winter in Oregon no matter how snowy, icy, or rainy the weather may be. 

{Is it nerdy that this pic reminds me of  bronchioles?}

Letting Go

When a stable patient suddenly feels depressed and can’t pinpoint a stressor, I sometimes ask if a loved one passed away around that time of year.  After pausing for moments to think, oftentimes the answer is “yes.” 

I had a rough week that I initially attributed to having a heavy workload, but realized that the theme I struggled with the most was death and grief.  I felt sad to hear news that one of my patients died and grew frustrated each time I heard the word “suicidal.”  I’m normally diligent and confident in managing my patients, but my emotions overwhelmed me.

Nine years ago, my grandfather passed away.  I regularly blame myself for not attending his funeral in the Philippines because right before he died, he asked that I stay home, focus on my studies, and make him proud by becoming a doctor.  I live with regret, but recognize that I’ll keep struggling around this time of year until I learn to forgive myself and accept that my grandfather is gone.

Organizing Thoughts

After returning from a child psychiatry conference in LA, I had a busy week adjusting to a new work schedule and became overwhelmingly anxious trying to multitask solving patients’ problems and my growing list of “things to do.”  Last night I realized that if I had a patient with a similar situation, I’d tell them to write an actual list of “things to do” (I tend to to be lazy to write lists and instead take “mental notes” which clearly didn’t work for me last week) and rank them in terms of priority.  I wrote a list this morning and already checked off two items (change my tires, drop off dry cleaning) and up next includes laundry and cleaning my messy apartment.  Lists should also include relaxing, rewarding activities as well (balance is key!), so after cleaning I’m off to a pedicure party and dinner with girlfriends.  I’m looking forward to tackling the upcoming work week already.

Here are some pics from my most recent trip to LA:

{Liquid Nitrogen Caipirinha at The Bazaar}

{liquid olives–I”ll never think of an olive the same way again}

{an amazing $8 cup of tea} 

{dessert display at the SLS Beverly Hills} 

{Rodeo Drive at night}

 

New Year’s Resolutions

I spent New Year’s weekend in Los Angeles and had a perfect, relaxing New Year’s eve at home and away from fixe prixe restaurants and nightclubs (I truly believe Oregon life has changed me).  I initially told myself that I wouldn’t create resolutions for the new year, but later sided with tradition and the need for goals to strive towards personal improvement.  Here are a few from my list:

1.  Make daily efforts to de-clutter my apartment.

2.  Master techniques using my D-SLR.

3.  Spend less time vegging on the couch watching tv after work.

4.  Write blog posts more frequently.

{Santa Monica sunset}